The Swap?

The morning of the swap has brought with it a strange atmosphere in the air, few people know if it has in fact occurred. While some celebrate, others riot. There has been fighting in many of the districts away from the 2nd where the Augarten/Cannizaro is situated, the people confused, unable to know the result find respite in anger against the Austrian government. fighting is taking place in both the 5 and 4th districts, while those in the 3rd and 20th celebrate, the city is torn apart, the social implications of the swap continue.

Herald Info Flash

The Herald has just emailed us from a hospital bed in down-town Fleckeby with a break-down of his last two days of activity and the conclusions he draws from this period:

Wednesday.
Spent the morning touring the crypts of local churches hunting for a rune-like symbol I found on the last page of 'The Tome of Spiritual Magnetism'. Alas, was unable to find rune - my only discovery was that I have a dust allergy. Spent the afternoon in cafes drinking espresso and reading local papers and books on the history of Fleckeby; in particular one book I found in a second-hand bookshop entitled 'Fleckeby: Home of the Occult' (in German of course).
It was during this session that two intriguing pieces of information were uncovered: first, a couple were due to be married on Friday May 7 at the Fleckeby town hall, the groom an Englishman from Wimbledon Village, the bride a recent immigrant from Vienna, and second that Fleckeby was once home to an ascetic believed to have extroadinary powers of divination and predicition having burned out his own eyes - exchanging regular sight for foresight. The first factual nugget was from The Fleckebey Chronicle and the latter from 'Fleckebey: Home of the Occult'. It seems that the power of Romance will be an important and redeeming bond for the parks and also that I have a clear course of action before me.

Thursday.
In the morning I burn out my own eyes with a soldering iron I bought from a hardware shop. Pass out from the pain but moments before waking have vivid, phantasmagoric dream in which huge gobulets of green float across my vision, meet, coalesce and seperate. Upon regaining consciousness am able to alert help with my mobile phone and spend day in hospital recieving emergency operations. Uncertain if my sight will ever return but have been having fitful visions where the blades of grass that comprise lawns are sucked back into the ground and clouds swell so low over the trees that they suck them up like tornados.
There is too much pain now for me to feel that this park-swap will be anything short of cataclysmic.

Cannizaro Park and The Augarten Swap Tomorrow!!!

Many may say that now is a good moment to pause and reflect upon the seismic happening that is mere hours away, to look back across the myriad theories and conjecture: the findings of the BT Tower Enclave, The Herald's research, the protests, studies of physics and the mystic arts, to squint at all that has been written and recorded in the hope of finally seeing clearly how events may unfold themselves.

BUT THIS IS TO PLACE TRUST IN A SMALL AMOUNT OF INFORMATION PROVING SUCH A COMPLEX AND OVERRIDING THEORY

- Mathematical theory makes it perfectly clear that a rule can work the first, second... fiftieth time but that it is not until it has been tested within all realms of possibility that it can be certified as a truth and a universal rule -

AS THE BRITISH GENERAL ELECTIONS RUMBLE ON THROUGH THE NIGHT DECIDING A CONTEST THAT SEEMS TO MAKE A NEGLIGIBLE DIFFERENCE TO THE STATE OF ONE COUNTRY, SO SHALL THIS BLOG CONTINUE TO UPDATE ITS' READERSHIP ON THE MORE INTERNATIONAL AND UNIQUE TRANSFORMATION THAT IS UPON US ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(these updates will include all and any research findings from our agents in both parks, our various contacts in the scientific, religious and spiritual communities and first-hand accounts from members of the public stationed in both parks. Any news we get; you get.)

WE MAY NOT HAVE THE RESOURCES OF BBC NEWS 24 OR SKY (who doubtless won't report this event preferring a standard and superficial election) BUT WE WILL DO OUR LEVEL BEST TO BRING THE TRUTH TO YOU.


YES, THE TRUTH TO YOU ALL.

[Unfortunately due to DRUGGIE SCUM both Cannizaro Park and The Augarten are closed all night and therefore we will be unable to get eye witnesses into the park at midnight, but news will be in by dawn. Somethings may remain shrouded in mystique long after May 6 is ancient history.]

STAY WITH US LOYAL FOLLOWERS AND WE WILL TRY TO SHED LIGHT WHERE THERE IS IGNORANCE, CONFUSION AND ENIGMA!

3 Days TIll Swap - Advertising Helps Spread Word

The Left Hits Back

This morning Austrians repelled by the actions of many of their fellow citizens staged rival protests of their own. Anger against the Right has flayed up. Many see the suspected park swap as being used as tinder to fuel anti foreign feeling in Vienna. Indeed many seem to welcome it. One of the protesters Hans Belting Bass told our reporter on the scene, "Vienna is such a localised city, we would all benefit from a greater international input. I'm even considering setting up a scone store near the park if the swap was to happen!" The Austrian police has been put on full alert, violence is expected to come soon. The Austrian Government has yet to make a comment, unable or unwilling to choose sides.

Protests Hit Vienna

Vast protests swept through Vienna yesterday bringing the city to a standstill as the public, now very much aware of the impending event due to this very blog, have risen up in patriotic anger. Protesters were head to scream "Austria for Austrian Parks" and "English parks out". Meanwhile a number of cases of xenophobic attacks have been reported across the city: English owned shops have had their windows shattered, and an A has been scrawled across the shop's doors. Our very own representative has faced growing hostility. The British home office is yet to comment on events, waiting first to see how the Austrian government will react to events. This blog will attempt to keep you updated on the events as they unfold.

Follower Brings Photographic Evidence To Table

Long-time blog follower Justyna Czasnowicz has sent in this remarkable photo taken in one of The Augarten's many avenues of Maple and Chestnut trees. Taken with a standard manual camera the extrodinary optical defect on the photograph implies a supernatural phenomenon invisible to the naked eye, yet visible to the mechanical process of the camera. What Czasnowicz may have photographically recorded for us are the pockets of heavy, close air that park-goers have reported walking through at apparently random sites within both parks. Visual evidence of 'the dense bubble sensation' creates further demand for scientific investigation to delve into this curriosity.

From Hyde Park to Hampstead Heath, from Battersea Park to Peckham Rye Common groups of people touched by the importance of the imminent park-exchange have left the comfort of their homes on a windy bank holiday monday to demonstrate their involvement and make many more people aware. Sounding klaxons, chanting and waving home-made banners the message is clear: the swap cannot go un-noticed and so will not go un-announced. This group photographed in Ruskin Park Camberwell were eager to emphasise their concerns for the knock-on effects of the change. Audrey Rose, a full-time student, stated 'I mean, where does it end... first these two parks and then more?... and what next football stadiums, beaches?' This seemed to be a sentiment shared by all, while the purpose of their rally was concisely summed up by gardener Benjamin Wilkins-Gardiner who added 'if just one person sees these banners and looks it up for themselves... logs on to this admirable blog and helps find some truth, then we've done our job.'

Rallies Take Place in Parks Across London

Gedenkstatte Heldenberg

The Gedenkstatte Heldenberg (literally translated as Hero Mountain) is the resting place of the infamous Austrian Field Marshall Joseph Radetzky von Radetz, hero of 17 campaigns and butcher of Milan. Radetzky bequeathed his remains to Joseph Gottfried Pargfrieder who decades earlier had settled his debts. An illegitimate son of the Austrian Emperor Joseph II, who had made his fortune by supplying the Austrian army, Pargfrieder created this vast monument in a fit of patriotism in 1858. Radetzky lies under a monumental obelisk. Along with this grave, are two monuments. One to the Italian campaign of 1848 and the other to the Hungarian campaign of 1849. Each monument has a column surrounded by the busts of the eminent fallen dead. Two of the busts in the Italian are of particular interest. Standing side by side, you could easily walk past, two more dead soldiers, who died protecting a decaying state in its last throws of greatness under chancellor Metternich, the man who made Europe after the defeat of Napoleon. Under these two busts inscribed into the stone are the names, Antonio Count of Cannizaro and Mattias von Augarten. How these two new each other is unknown, all we know is that both died in the battle of Turin, as the King of Piedmont battled to drive out the Austrans of Italy. Excitingly this tells us there is a historical connection between the two parks that bare their names, how important this connection is remains to be seen

Popul Vuh

The Mayan Popul Vuh, or the book of the people, was their most sacred text and tells of their history and their legends but also prophesies the future. Upon greater research our most academic of scholars stumbled upon one strange section. Here it is translated into English for the benefit of those unable to read Mayan or the Quiche language, this section comes from the Chichicastenango manuscript:

"these are the name of the divinity, arranged in pairs in accord with the dual conception of the Quiche: Tzacol and Bitol, Creator and Maker. Alom, the mother god, she who conceived the sons, Qaholom, the father god who begat the sons. Let your nature be known, Hunahpu-Vuch, Hunahpu-Ytiu, twice-mother, twice-father, Nim-Ac, Nim-Tziis, Cannizaro-Augarten, who twice swapped, Ixtlilxochitl who saw the world as it was."

Our scholar was amazed to find the two contemporary names here 'Cannizaro' and 'Augarten', in a script from the far-side of the world, and from a time long, long ago. What could it mean, what does it mean? We are as yet unable to tell you, but the date 2010 appears later in the text. Coincidence, hardly.

5 Days To Go - Transformation Theory and Quantam Mechanics

The shifting of the ground beneath the foundations of The Stephansdom cathedral may be explicable in light of P. A. M. Dirac's 1927 Transformation Theory in which objects are categorised as and alternate between waves and particles. It is the transformations within this duality that cause irrational and unexpected movements in 'Hilbert Space'. Therefore, if the ground beneath The Stephansdom is shifting from particle to wave and a similar alternation is taking place beneath Cannizaro House (largely rebuilt in the 1920s due to similar infrastructural collapse) then it seems highly possible that the entire earth crust beneath the two parks may become unstable wave-forms in constant motion. Such frenetic base vibrations will surely lead to complete geographical exchange.

Herald Flys To Fleckeby

The Herald, the Wandsworth-based original, has just sent us this email:

"Dear purveyors of truth,
I email for two pressing and crucial reasons.
First, while examining 'The Tome Of Spiritual Magnetism' in the small hours of this morning it occurred to me in a flash of inspiration to turn to page 118. The number and it's relationship with the mathematical constant ca, demonstrated on this very blog, seems to have a fundamental connection with May 7 and the swap. What I found on page 118 was strange and wondrous indeed. The page gave a brief history of the German town of Fleckeby, a complete non-sequitor with the rest of the book: nothing before or after this page explains or contextualises it. Why? Fleckeby is the key, clearly. The original page 118, the page explaining the park-swap and accurately predicting it, must be somewhere in Fleckeby - perhaps in an original copy of the Tome?
I have booked a Ryan Air flight to nearby Kiel and hope to be there by morning. Whatever my investigation uncovers will be quickly relayed to you and from you to the hungry public.
The second issue is that of 'Das Herald' or 'The True Herald'. I disprove his claims for authorship of the 'The Tome of Spiritual Magnetism' with a single fact: my copy of the tome was published in the 19th century. Unless 'Das Herald' is a century and a half old and has a white beard down to his kneecaps he is clearly just an online whack-job, trawling through the internet to avoid getting a job. If the park-swap brings political revoloution in it's wake (and I begin to feel that it might) he'll be first up against the wall in the cull.
The one and only

The Herald

p.s. If you need to reach me you can email on briancurry@ukonline.co.uk"

Oh mighty Herald, let thy words of wisdom permeate the web with the clarity of a sweetly struck gong and let thy speech communicate transcendental enlightenment (supported by first-hand field research) to all who hear.

Stephansdom in fear of collapse

The Stephansdom in Vienna has begun to suffer from structural damage. There are fears that the spire of the main tower will collapse into the street below. Repairs have begun in ernest. Head of the conservation team Sebastian van der Byke, especially brought in from Amsterdamn (a city famous for structural damage due to subsidence) to aid the work force, remains unsure of the reason for this weakening of the tower. He has tentatively suggested the Augarten might be to blame, "there is a seam of rock that runs between the 2nd district where the Augarten is situated and the 1st where the Stephansdom can be found, this seam appears to have shifted. We have of yet no clue why, however as it continues to do so the tower becomes more and more unstable". Is this shift to do with the change? Shift will often lead to swap.

Celebrity Sightings Continue

More celebrities have been seen spotted in the Augarten. The current governor of California and famous Austrian heavy weight Arnold Schwarzenegger was seen entering the park by an agent at 14:22 yesterday, reports have arrived he entered one of the abandoned bunkers. Reasons for such strange behaviour abound: have the CIA sent him to learn more? Is America putting its insidious resources behind finding a cause?

Das Herald

An Austrian calling himself the "True Herald" has emerged after seeing reports of an English "fake". He claims it was he who wrote the now fabled " The Tome of Spiritual Magnetism", evidence begins to mount that he could be genuine, the Tome being written in German suggests so. Agents have been sent to discover more, evidence must be found to prove such claims beyond doubt!

The Herald At Work

The Herald

An avante-garde scientist and mystic operating under the name 'The Herald' has sent us information of an ancient book that speaks extensively of the change. The Herald uncovered 'The Tome of Spiritual Magnetism' at the Tooting carboot sale from under a mass of Tom Clancy. The Herald describes just being 'drawn to the pile, pulling out this dusty book and realising it was exactly what I had been searching for.' The Tome, complete with diagrams and illustrations, highlights tarot cards, herb concoctions and tea leaf reading as all pointing towards an intergalactic cosmic movement on May 7 2010. The Herald is still working his way through the highly cryptic text and having to translate large sections from German and Hebrew. All his findings will be posted here.

Conversation Overheard In Cannizaro - A Sign

While undertaking field studies on the main lawn of Cannizaro an agent of ours overheard the discourse of two sun-bathers. When reading our agent's transcription please remember that this is the conversation of relaxed and idle people and the tone is therefore consistently languid.

. . .

Sunbather 1: Do you know what Neil was telling me the other day?
(pause)
Sunbather 2: No? What was Neil telling you the other day?
Sunbather 1: He was saying that... that this park is actually an Austrian park...
Sunbather 2: What does that mean? Austrian? We're in England. There's a cutting wind and I've been lying here for hours and tanned negligibly: we're in England.
Sunbather 1: No, that's not what he meant. The park itself was dug up and transported here some time ago - like the 18th century or something - and the park that was here is now where the Austrian one was. It's sort of swapped...
Sunbather 2: Sounds like Neil is talking out of his arse to me. Sounds typical Neil to me.
Sunbather 1: He said that on Friday they're gonna replace the parks, the deal was that in 2010 the parks are transported back... a diplomatic thing.
(pause)
Sunbather 1: (cont.) probably nonsense - like when he said that the guerkin building was built to conceal a giant missile and that the building could split open and the missile would fly out... typical Neil.

. . .

Whoever this Neil character is he sounds like some kind of rogue genius and we strongly encourage him to get in touch with this blog immediately.

Celebrity Sightings In Both Parks - 6 Days To Go

Following electro-maverick-turned-pop-star James Yule's live performances in Cannizaro there have been several sightings of celebrities coming to both parks, compelled by both the hype and enigma. 'It' females Alexa Chung and Pixie Geldoff (the latter bringing Scientology baggage with her) were spotted picnicing in Cannizaro's Italian Garden whilst Grime-Pop artiste de jour Chipmunk was seen staring intently at the aviary. Meanwhile, the retired alpine skier par excellance Stepan Eberharter was spotted in one of The Augarten's two dog zones (with a border terrier).
Many conclusions can be drawn from increased celebrity attention. These people are famous for a reason (usually talent and ability) and therefore their involvement and faith in May 7 can be seen as further valediction. Alternatively this could be an example of band-wagon jumping on the part of minor celebrities but this seems an un-reasonably negative stance. Only one definite conclusion can be drawn: if a celebrity presence in the parks increases interest in a universally significant event such as the park-swap it is a GOOD thing.